the start of something new.

I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling like I have something to hide.  Like there’s something that I can’t talk about, or I can’t be honest about.  It always feels like there’s something caught in my chest, that because I’m not “allowed” to talk about it, it’s always in the front of my mind.  And it’s not because of anyone else that I’m not “allowed” to talk about it, it’s just my own fear and pride, which is absolutely ridiculous and gets me nowhere.  Does that make sense?  I don’t know… probably not.

Well, I’m now going to talk about that issue that I’m not “allowed” to talk about.  That big, hairy issue called weight loss.  Yep, went there.

Oh weight loss… we’ve really had our ups and downs.  Well, without going into too many details (don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the details at a later date), I want and need to lose a few el bees.  Actually, probably more than just a few.  And let’s be honest, I desperately need something to keep me accountable.

So let’s start something new, shall we?  Hopefully it won’t be too scary, intense or dramatic, but I’m guessing that it will be sanctifying, not-so-easy and just a little bit obnoxious (I just can’t help myself sometimes).  So today is the start of a new journey: a journey to health, obedience, vegetables, wellness, joy and smaller jeans.  So today I will tell you that my weight is 184.4 pounds.  Is that too much for my height and body shape?  Yes.  Do I desperately want to take a pill and magically be 125 pounds?  Yes.  Do I think that will get me anywhere?  No.

I hope that you’ll bear with me during this awkward, not-always-pretty but really sanctifying journey, because I’m nervous excited to share it with you.  Next Wednesday will be the first real weekly weigh-in.  So here we go…

 

K.

enough with the small talk

I saw Lis Miserables for the second time on Monday night.  Y’all… it’s just so good.  I don’t even know how to express what that story stirs up in my soul.  I have a tendency to really feel things, you know?  To really allow movies, music, experiences to move me.  I know that probably sounds weird, but I don’t know how else to say it.  I also have a slightly obsessive personality… so there’s that.  Let’s just say that I’ve been  talking about Eddie Redmayne’s rendition of “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” wearing way too much red and black and singing “On My Own” in the kitchen a lot for the past two weeks.

Anyways… I saw the movie last night with my lovely, Christ-like friend, Grace.  Let me just tell you what a blessing this girl is in my life.  She’s such a prayer warrior, is always seeking the Lord and she has this amazing ability to get me to open up about what’s going on in my life.

Grace and I three years ago at the top of the Xunantunich mayan ruins in Belize (aka: the day I learned that I’m slightly afraid of heights)

Let me tell you what I love most about my friendship with Grace… No matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked or seen each other, it’s so easy to just pick up where we left off.  And not only that, but there’s not a lot of small talk.  She doesn’t care so much about what I made for dinner the night before, how the local sports teams are doing or what Taylor Swift song I’m obsessing over this week but she really cares about what I’m learning, how she can be praying for me and what areas I am struggling in and I need some cold, hard truth spoken into my life.  Um yeah, that’s friendship.

So on Monday night, in the brief minutes I had to catch up with Grace after the movie, I more or less burst into tears.  And no, it wasn’t because I just finished watching an incredibly emotional movie (even though you know that I wept during at least half of the movie).  It was more like a cry of thanksgiving.  Have you ever had one of those moments where you just feel overwhelmed, grateful, content, blessed, understood all at the same time?  Yeah, it was one of those moments.  Like, I had so much that I wanted to tell her, feelings that I needed to get off my chest, emotions that I needed to put into words.  And the best part?  I knew that she wanted to hear about it.  Because a friend like Grace cares more about what is actually going on in my heart and less about the events surrounding my life.  That’s such a comfort.  That’s Christ-like.  That’s community.

I hope that I can be that to my friends, that I can value them that way and spur them on towards the Lord.  I pray that my friends feel like they can open up to me and that they know I care about them and what is really going on in their lives.  I want to be a blessing in other people’s lives like this girl (amongst other friends, of course) is to me.  I have so much to learn about being a woman, being a friend, being a Christ-follower.  I know that I always will have more to learn.  I’m so thankful that God has blessed me with some great models, though.

K.

I’m pinterested.

I have a bit of a problem.  I’m guessing there’s a good chance you have the same problem.

I love Pinterest.  I love getting new ideas of recipes, workouts, things I could make, things that may make life a bit easier.  The problem?  I’m really, really good at pinning and really, really bad at actually doing the things I pin.  It always seems like a good idea in the pretty pictures with clever text, but once I realize that a little work is required, it seems infinitely less appealing.

Just like learning what muscles an exercise works does me no good if I don’t practice the exercises, mindlessly pinning pictures of ideas doesn’t do anything to better my life if I don’t do anything with my pins.  That’s why I decided that I need to actually follow through on my pins.  Today is a small start.

Many moons ago, I found a recipe on Pinterest for DIY eye makeup remover.  Now, while the cost of eye makeup remover isn’t going to brake the bank anytime soon, being a young newlywed with lots of student loans, I’ll take a buck or two anywhere I can find it.  Also, I love that I can store this in a mason jar and not have to throw away a container every time I finish a bottle of remover.  But best of all?  This only took me two minutes to make and it works just as well as any similar products I’ve bought at the store.  I’ll take it!

Head on over to One Good Thing by Jillee and check out the eye makeup remover (as well as many other recipes, DIY projects and bright ideas).  This is one blog that will certainly peak your (p)interest!

Are you a serial pinner?  How often do you follow-through on your pins?

K.

if you really knew me

(like, in real life, not just in internet life)…

then you might know that I used to write a different blog.  Keeping Up With Kayla was my desperate attempt at blogging about something other than just my thoughts and feelings (it’s ok, we can be honest about it now).  After being married for about a month and a half, I was feeling like my life needed a new spark.  It was feeling a little lackluster, and it just wasn’t ok anymore.  Like I needed something to achieve, look forward to, or plan.  At the time I thought that it was my natural desire for adventure. Ahem… More on that later.

Anyways… I made a list of 101 “adventures” that I planned to complete over the course of a year.  A few of these adventures included eating vegan for a week, getting a puppy, buying something at Crate and Barrel, killing a spider and making the ultimate workout playlist.  Not a bad plan, eh?

Yeah, I didn’t think so either… for the first two months.  Those first two months were awesome.  I was stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying new things, living the life that I always dreamed I would.  I was feeling good and writing all about it.  And best of all, other people really seemed to enjoy it.  But after those fist two months, things became… slightly less than awesome.  After completing a good handful of the items on the list, I wasn’t feeling the way I expected to.  I wasn’t happy the way I hoped I would be.  My life wasn’t perfect the way I planned it would be.  Being content wasn’t as easy as I calculated it would be.  Want to know why?  Because it wasn’t fulfilling me.

What I thought was a healthy desire for adventure, for exploration, turned out to be a major idol.  A big ugly desire to feel fulfilled with something that I could control.  It seemed a lot easier to do it that way, my way, until I tried it.  Until I realized that it didn’t work.  Until I learned that nothing other than God could truly fulfill me.

You know, I think that we are all susceptible to different types of temptation.  Satan is smart and crafty and knows our weaknesses, knows those areas of our lives where we’re scarred, bruised, weak, bitter and he preys on them.  He wiggles his way in anyway that he can and is pretty good at finding the sections of our “city fortress,” if you will, that aren’t as strong, that crumble under pressure.  Don’t you hate that?  Cause I really freaking hate that.

*le sigh*

I’m not sure why I thought this warranted an explanation on thursday night friday morning at 12:30 am.  I just felt like I owed my friends, the people I care about, the people I would love to have a cup of coffee with, some explanation of why “Keeping Up With Kayla” is no more and why I just couldn’t go back there even though I’ve been dying to write for so long.  Ugh, I don’t know why it took me so long to admit this (yes you do, it’s your stupid pride) and why it’s still feels so bitter and awkward coming out (ahem… yep, still that pride thing).

BUT… this is a new blog (oooooh… shiny).

My God is the same God (so thankful for that).

And I’m still a long ways away from figuring it all out (go figure?).

So welcome to Completing Joy, a new chapter of scattered thoughts, embarrassing moments and Jesus-centered, old-fashioned fun (no veganism included).  I hope you stay a while.

K.

there are no cupcakes.

Oh, plans.

I had several plans for today.  Great, grand, loving, serving plans.  Plans for breakfast.  Plans for several lovey-dovey emails.  Plans for a fancy candle-lit dinner.  Plans for a movie.  Plans for cupcakes.  Plans for back massages.  Plans for joy and surprises and birthday frolicking.

You see, today is the Hubz’s birthday.  Today is also the day that my body chose to get the flu.  Lovely.

I woke up this morning and instantly knew that all of my plans were shot.  I spent most of the day laying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep, watching Gilmore Girls, feeling like my head may explode and my bones may break any second.  Please note that I hadn’t planned for any of these things.  Yes, it has been quite the day, indeed.

But, it is still the Hubz’s birthday.  So Happy Birthday, Gregory.  You’re the most wonderful man I know.  I can’t imagine doing life with anyone else and am so blessed to have you as my husband.  All this to say, I’m sorry that there are no cupcakes today.  It’s your birthday and everyone deserves cupcakes on their birthday.  However, on the bright side, I did buy chocolate peanut butter ice cream.  And that is almost as good cupcakes.

K.

five things

Talk about me with my husband for a while and you may learn a few things that I wouldn’t readily admit myself.  It’s not necessarily because he bad-mouths me or points out my faults, but more because he can easily pick out those parts of my personality that I think are… normal.  Let me explain.

To me, sleeping every night with the same blanket I’ve had for 23 years?  Perfectly normal.  Reading every single post of a new-to-me blog the same day that I find it? Naturally.  Watching every episode of Gilmore Girls at least three times a year?  Um… duh.

I guess you could say I have a slightly obsessive personality.  When I find something that I like, there’s no going back.  Healthy and beauty products are no exception.  These aren’t the end-all and be-all of the products I’m obsessed with, but these are staples in my daily routine.

1. Yes to Carrots skincare.  I first heard about this line through Jenna and when the cleanser I was using at that time ran out, I jumped on this bandwagon.  The cleanser is great for my naturally dry skin and the moisturizer leaves my face foundation-ready.
2. Naked 2 Palette.  I like everything being in one place and this makes choosing my eyeshadow scheme three times easier.  I have the original Naked palette and love it.  I bought this one and can’t get enough of it.
3. Coconut oil (especially this one from Trader Joe’s-cheap and amazing).  It makes a great eye makeup remover, moisturizer and hair mask.  The opportunities are endless, really.  Plus, it smells like the beach.  Can’t beat that.
4. Essie nail polish.  You saw that one coming, eh?  The colors are fantastic, the names of the colors better and it most always looks great after two coats.  As Gold As It Gets is the latest additional to my collection.  The perfect gold sparkle.  Boxer Shorts is the most perfect periwinkle.  Seriously can’t get enough of these.
5. EOS lip balm.  I always thought these looked so ridiculous in the Target checkout lane, but my friend Ahna got me hooked.  This one is lemon drop, but I also love the summer fruit balm.  It goes on smoothly, stays on forever and leaves your lips looking luscious.  I’ll never go back.  Burt’s Bees who…?

 

So tell me, what products are you obsessing over?  I always love to hear what makes my friends feel, look and smell their best!

K.

january goals

Horray!  It’s the second day of 2013… the second day of reaching for the 8 goals I have for this year.  There’s only one tiny problem: I’m a serial goal-maker.  I’m all about jumping on board with a reading plan, workout plan, meal plan and once the appeal of the new plan wears off… well, I’m sure you can imagine what happens.  It’s one of the things about me that I’d most like to change. 

I’ve always been awful at follow-through.  I’m not sure why this is, exactly.  It may be that I put too much pressure and too many expectations on myself.  When one thing goes not-as-planned (missed a day of devotions, ate a cupcake, went to bed early instead of finishing the laundry), I tend to throw in the towel and give up instead of picking up the pieces and continuing along the path.  I hope that by making smaller, quantifiable, can-check-that-off-the-list type of goals, I will be more likely to complete my goals and to continue to reach for them, even when I don’t do everything right… because we all know that will be coming.

All this mumbo-jumbo to say, I’m weak.  I need community, fellowship, accountability.  I need to pray for perseverance, joy, strength.  I’m very independent and never want to ask for help, never want to appear weak, always want to make it look like I’ve got my life together.  Well here is me saying “I Don’t.”  ‘

It’s so freeing to admit our weakness, our struggles.  I hope that you can join me in being honest with your struggles and areas of your life that need some work.  That’s the beauty of community and fellowship–we can all come openly, honestly without fear of judgement.  The body of Christ is a beautiful thing. 

So as promised, here are my mini-goals for the month of January.  Feel free to call me out on them if you see me slacking, y’all know I need the accountability.

1. Complete the She Reads Truth “A Fresh Start” plan
2. Log all meals/workouts in My Fitness Pal
3. Do two 10k training runs each week (about 9 runs for the month)
4. Create new budget and debt snowball plan
5. Have at least 2 date nights

 I hope you have a happy Wednesday!

Do you set monthly goals?  Do you usually accomplish those goals?

K.

new day.

I find it slightly ironic that New Years falls when it does on the yearly calendar. Think about it for a moment. From the middle of November to the end of December is the craziest time of the year for many of us, certainly including me. We eat a lot, we work out less… we spend a lot, we save less… we socialize a lot, we rest less. We sacrifice a lot for the sake of the “holiday spirit” and come New Year’s Eve we’re more or less burnt out. We reflect on the good and bad of that year and vow to make the next “the best ever” because we’re going to start a new project, try to get a raise, go on a cruise, organize the closets, cook at home more often and of course, lose 30 pounds.

This whole irony of experiencing a new year, a fresh start, a clean slate after, more often than not, eating too much, spending too much, not resting enough, etc. for almost two months just seems so… poetic to me this year. It’s as if God sees the chaos that our lives become at the end of the year and wants to remind us that we can start over. That it’s a new day and anything is possible. Even though we can receive that fresh start every day, every hour, every minute through Christ, He knows that we needed to be reminded.

I just love that. I love the ways that God shows us that grace that He extends to us. That’s part of the reason that I love New Year’s so much. Though I’ve never been one for resolutions, I do enjoy taking time to set goals for the new year.  Not because these goals will complete me or fulfill me (figured that one out the hard way…), but because they will better me, challenge me, add to my joy and make me more obedient to God.  I think that’s pretty cool.

So here are the goals that I have for 2013:

1. Improve my prayer life and read my Bible regularly
2. Be more intentional about Christian fellowship
3. Run a 10k (6/15/13)
4. Eat clean 80% of the time
5. Use the debt snowball to pay down student loans
6. Use cash envelopes to control spending
7. Find a home cleaning system and schedule that works for us
8. Be intentional about date night

You may notice that they are broken down into two spiritual goals, two physical goals, two financial goals and two family/home goals.  My hope for this year, and the rest of my life, really, is to achieve an all-encompasing state of wellness.  Spiritual, emotional, financial, physical, mental wellness.  I’ll expand on this more later, but it’s something I am very passionate about right now.  Also, I find that it helps me to break these goals down each month into small, more quantifiable goals to keep me motivated and help me achieve the bigger goals.  Tomorrow I’ll be posting my goals for January.

I’m so grateful for God’s faithfulness and his promises today.  So grateful that I can have a new start.  And right now, I’m especially grateful that I’m writing again.  I sure have missed it.

K.

hello.

My name is Kayla and this is my new blog.
Excited? Yes. Yes, I am.

K.